Ladies Before Gentlemen

Ladies before gentlemen. Unless you are Amish.  It’s a cultural thing I guess—perhaps even a Biblical understanding for the plain folks.  The man is the head of the home, and the leader of the family, and this view is carried out in many aspects of Amish life.   I’ve often noticed that the men are generally ahead of the women.  Even the children walking to and from school will be grouped up in boys groups and girls groups, with the boy’s groups walking usually ahead of the girls.

Neighborhood Amish boys walking to school.

I work with an Old Order Amish man, so I decided to ask him about these things.  We know each other well enough that we can talk about most any subject—religion and faith included.

“Hey John, (not his real name) why do Amish  men always walk ahead of the women?”

“I don’t know... they don’t always.”

So I went on, “But that’s what I nearly always see, unless there are just two of them.  Sometimes I see a man and a woman walking side by side, but if they are in a group, the men take the lead.  And why do the Amish men always take the front seat in a two-seat buggy?  The men and boys will be in the front, and the women and girls will be in the back.  Why is that?  Is it a cultural thing, or a religious thing?”

“I don’t know,” he replied.  “That’s just the way it is.”

I wasn’t getting very far with my questions, so I took a different approach.  I gave John an example where he could fill in the blanks.  He had just informed me that the men don’t always walk in front.

“So John, if you and your wife go to visit some friends, and  you’re both standing at their door waiting to enter, who would go in first when the door is opened?”

“I would,” he said.

I nodded my head.  “That’s what I thought.”

Then I explained to John that I was raised to open doors for ladies.  By doing this, I am honoring the ladies and being a gentleman.  

He just looked at me with a blank stare, as if this was a foreign thought.  Maybe it was.  Maybe in the Amish culture it is not so much taught as caught.  And I don’t fault anyone for cultural habits.  We all have them.  As John says, “That’s just the way it is.”

* * * * *

Texting while driving is a no-no.  We all know it.  There are plenty of statistics and videos explaining how dangerous it is.  And really, I think we are all convinced.  However, many still do it, thinking that they can get away with it.  They are “smart” and “careful” about it.  They won’t be a statistic.  Please don’t think like that.  Please put the phone away while driving… unless you are driving a buggy.  I often see Amish teenagers texting while driving a horse and buggy, and that is relatively safe, because the horse knows the way.

Amish teenager texting as he drives his buggy.

Friends, we’d like to continue our trip in Israel now.  Adios from Kidron, Ohio, where the men are homely, the women are beautiful, and the children are home for a baby shower.  Yep, we’re going to have one more sweet little grandbaby.  So long.